Can't Bear To Be Apart
by xfirefly9x
Summary: Edward/Bella ficlets.
1. Can't Bear To Be Apart

**_Can't Bear To Be Apart_**

She can't bear the idea of being away from Edward nearly as much as she can't bear the thought of losing him altogether. Call her crazy – she hasn't known him for very long at all – but she can't help it. Her stomach is a tangle of knots and worry and she needs him.

She needs him to be with her, where she knows he is safe and where he can protect her. She needs him and she knows they shouldn't risk being apart. Not now. They are stronger together and strength is what they are very much in need of.

She stares into the golden orbs that are his eyes and sees the same fear mirrored back at her.

There is something else in them too and it is that something – love – that makes her hopeful that things will turn out all right and persuades her to let him go.

She has always believed that love is meant to conquer all.

_fin._


	2. Better Together

_**Better Together**_

Silent is the air between them. It's all-encompassing. Overwhelming.

There is no sound to be heard as they look into the depths of each other's eyes; there is only the intensity of the looks they share.

It's perfect.

Nothing that surrounds them even scratches the surface of their thoughts. When they are together, when they are in the same room, there is nothing else that matters. Their mutual dislike and mutual attraction is all that they are able to be aware of.

The world outside is a blur of drab grey and green. They both know it.

They're better together.

_fin._


	3. An Impossible Situation

_**An Impossible Situation**_

She can't think, can't breathe, can't move.

He is staring at her again and instead of the usual frustration in his golden eyes, there is a dizzying look of desire. No one has studied her with such intensity before – or with such desperation. While it's an improvement from the hostility, she finds she's in an impossible situation with him yet again.

At the best of times, she is clumsy. Now with his eyes on her, her knees are even more weakened and she feels awkward and out of place. She's certain that she'll fall if he so much as breathes in her direction.

She swallows hard and leans back against the wall for support. She does her best not to look back at him too much and get caught in his hypnotic eyes.

He continues to watch her, a small and mysterious smile playing at his lips.

She lets her hair fall over her shoulder, obscuring her view of him. It helps. For about twenty seconds. The urge to peek at him is too strong.

When she straightens and looks back up he's gone and oddly, she finds that she's disappointed by that.

_fin._


	4. Illusion Of Something Solid

**_Illusion Of Something Solid_**

Her gaze is often drawn to the grey sky beyond the reach of her window. She has never liked the dreary weather that Forks offers but the way it remains constant (for most of the time) is something she finds comfort in.

Her life lately has been anything but stable and so the dullness of it is a relief to say the least. It reminds her that she is only one person among many, an ant.

It's only when visions of Edward haunt her mind at such times that she begins to lose faith in the illusion of something solid.

_fin._


	5. Brought To Life

_**Brought To Life**_

She can feel the change in the way Edward is looking at her immediately. It's like a primal instinct, an inner knowledge brought to life inside of her.

At first she ignores it. Surely it can't be true. (But she knows it is.)

It doesn't make sense. (Does it?)

As days pass by it grows harder to avoid and her urge to resist weakens. She watches the walls she had put up around herself long ago crumble and fall.

One day it hits her.

The care she sees in Edward's eyes is mirrored as fiercely in her own.

They belong.

_fin._


	6. Biting Cold

_**Biting Cold**_

She is numb all over. Her fingers are slivers of ice. Her hair is crisp and dry. She can't feel her nose and her cheeks are on fire where the wind pummels her.

None of that matters though. There is more importance in what she is about to do. She maybe fall over in the snow she's trudging through but she doesn't care about that, not like she usually would.

Soon it will all be a distant memory. She will be graceful and elegant, a creature of the night.

She won't feel the biting cold.

She will become a vampire.

_fin._


	7. And So Goes The Cycle

_**A/N: **Dark!fic. Suicidal themes._

_**And So Goes The Cycle**_

She wants badly to lash out at something. Although for the majority of her time she prefers to fade into the background, there are moments when she craves attention (and usually she doesn't get it outside of her family). The lack of attention eats at her until the rage builds up and bubbles to the surface.

She'll spend a day or two then – sometimes three – going about with a scowl on her face and no kind words for anybody. It's ironic really. When she most craves attention she pushes people away. When she burns for someone to talk to, no one is there and so goes the cycle.

It's not a pleasant part of who she is. She hates when it surfaces. It is her though and it is what makes her fall over the edge in the end.

The sliver of a blade across flesh and the flow of blood send her pain first and then she is floating and cold and numb. The rage subsides to leave room for the experience and she stares at the ceiling as she feels herself slip away.

She prays for her saviour, for Edward to come and to turn her. She wants him to turn her. She wants to be the same as him. She wants to belong. Unconsciousness takes her first though and the last thing she knows is the gold of his eyes in her imagination. Her rage consumes her.

_fin._


	8. Just Breathe

**Just Breathe**

He almost forgets to breath (or fake breathing, rather) because he is so caught up in his mission. The fingers of his right hand curl around the steering wheel, knuckles nearly white from the tight grasp he has on it. His other hand he rests on the door panel beside him, occasionally strumming his fingers on the vinyl covering it.

Glinting a dangerous gold, his eyes dart around the surrounding houses and up the path of the house he's parked in front of. Even the slightest flicker of movement catches his attention and he checks to make sure whatever it is won't pose a problem. Mostly it is just birds pecking for worms in the damp soil or taking off or landing in a nearby branch. At one point a dog passes by with the remains of a brisket bone clenched between sharp, clean teeth.

Cringing, he leans back in his seat. He runs his tongue across his lips and returns his gaze back to the heavy wood door of the closest house. It doesn't move. He's not sure that is a good thing – that she is still getting ready – or if it's bad and she has decided she doesn't want him any longer. Either choice is valid. He cannot read her mind. He doesn't know how or what she's thinking. Her scent is strong though. She is most definitely inside the house.

An engine down the street roars to life and he instinctively grips the steering wheel tighter. He takes in a deep breath even though he doesn't need it. It soothes him to act human. 6/1/13 And then there's a click and the front door opens.

She waves, and he grows more and more impatient as she slowly picks her way down the driveway to the car. With her clumsiness, he is glad she is taking it slow, but at the same time, he wants her next to him _now_, and he wants to be driving away _now_. He wants _her_.

It takes an age and a half for her to get to him. She slips into the passenger seat and smiles. "Hi."

His grip on the steering wheel tightens a little more, and he has to force himself to relax. "Bella," he says, loving the feel of her name on his lips. He manages a smile, though he knows it is an awkward one. He wonders if she can tell how he is feeling and if she knows how much she affects him and in what ways. "It's good to see you."

Though it felt like he spent hours waiting to pick her up, now the time passes fast. He starts the car and drives, and when they are moving, he remembers to breathe again.

_Fin._


	9. Eternity Is Forever

_**Eternity Is Forever**_

"Eternity is a long time," Edward insists.

All Bella can do is nod and try her best not to wrap her hands around his throat and shake him. "Yes, it is," she says through gritted teeth. "You think I don't know that?"

"All I'm saying is this isn't something you should go into lightly."

"You think I'm an idiot."

"Yes. You are. I've spent my entire existence as a vampire wishing I could be human again. And here you are, so ready to give up your life, and for me of all things."

Bella looks pale. Her eyes are liquid, her nose as pointed and yet soft as ever, her lips in a miserable pout. "Is that really what you think of me?"

Edward fiddles with his shirt sleeve.

"I love you," she tells him. "I love you, Edward. Isn't that enough? Isn't that a good enough reason? If it isn't, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. Do you even love me?"

His eyes glint angry gold, and in the next moment, he has her pinned against the wall. "Don't, for one minute, question my feelings for you," he says. "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be so insistent that you know the choice you're about to make."

Bella swallows. He can hear the beating of her heart, faster than usual, frantic.

"You're still a child," he says, knowing it will insult her, hoping that it will chase her away. If she's smart, she'll turn around and leave now. She will fall in love for a normal human boy and have a normal family and a normal house and a normal life.

"And you've spent your life repeating high school over and over," she throws back.

"Exactly. Is this the life you want for yourself? Don't you want to grow old, to get a real job, a career? To have a family? You'll miss out on all of that if you stay with me. If I turn you."

"I'll have you," she says.

"You'll spend your life moving around. You can't just settle down, because after a few years, people start to notice that you're not aging."

"I'll have you," she says again.

"But is that enough?"

Bella remains silent.

"Eternity is a long time," he reminds her. "Let's not rush this."

"I suppose there's plenty of time," she slowly agrees. "But this isn't over. Not yet."

_Fin._


End file.
